guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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