Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Randomize
