she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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