I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
