Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
operation harelip BJ is a go
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
