I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
