Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize