I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
