She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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