so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize