Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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