Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
