Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
