I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
