Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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