Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Randomize
