In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
