So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
