Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
