I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
