Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
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