...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
