All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
the liver wants what the liver wants
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
