Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
pray to the hookup gods
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
