i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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