Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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