i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
