So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Randomize
