fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize