but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
