So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
