oh god the rape fog is back!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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