She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
