The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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