Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Randomize
