so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
