Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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