I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I am naked and annoyed.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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