Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
