Where did you get a picture of my penis
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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