It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
