you would pick up someone in the library
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
