I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
