You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
