To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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