We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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