Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
the night ended with taco bell and tears
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
