she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
