their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
