Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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