Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
