Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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