I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Randomize