I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
