My liver just broke up with me...
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
