Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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