Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think people are normalizing furries
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
