Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
